• A Practical Tip
• Dilemma Of The Month
• Reflection
• Testimonial

When your mind is filled with judgments, worry, anger, or anxiety, take a moment, breathe, and look for a spot of beauty somewhere in your environment.  If you can find some hint of beauty wherever you are, you are already on your way to remembering that all the negative thoughts and feelings are part of your personality’s story  - and not about what is actually happening in the moment. 

When you find that spot of splendor – no matter how small  – be it a glimpse of the sky out the window, a flower, a splash of sunlight on a desk – breathe it in and take a step back from the situation.  Then, with fresh eyes, discern how what is really happening differs from your  personality’s story about what’s happening.

If you can do this, you will have the awareness to step back and change your relationship to what is unfolding..  Then, everything will shift as you perceive once again how your mystical eyes can see through your conditioning and create the space for those moments of inner peace that are so sweet and so freeing..  When each moment arrives, it is what it is.  There is nothing you can do about the present moment except relax into it – and that is when inner peace arises. 
 

I think it’s safe to say that our culture is locked into an often unconscious demand that all of the forms that surround us in daily life be as beautiful as possible, or at least striving toward that goal..  Whether we call it first-rate, first-class, appealing, attractive, delightful, charming, exquisite, splendid, fabulous, handsome or fine-looking, we all notice how things look and usually highly value them looking good.  We are driven to have as many beautiful things as possible – including our homes, cars, children, friends, beloveds, and especially our own bodies,.  Any hint or trace of ugliness is usually avoided as much as possible.  

A cultural cloud of deep unconscious polarization drives our daily choices perhaps much more than we realize.  No-one wants to be ugly.  No-one wants anything they own to be ugly or shabby or worn out.  Even those who say they don’t care, are most likely wanting something else to be beautiful – their thoughts, their art, their relationships, their capacity to wield power, grow money, or be successful..  As an old friend of mine once said, “God don’t like ugly!”  And ugly is anything we consider to not be first-rate or as close to “perfect” as possible.

The drive to be not only attractive but actually gorgeous, stunning or striking is extremely strong. When we don’t feel handsome or pretty or appealing, we can go beyond thinking we’re just unattractive or unpleasant to the eye, but actually disgusting, vile, repulsive or revolting.  Many people won’t have anyone over to their homes because they’re fearful that the house is not beautiful enough, big enough, or modern enough.  In a world that is totally greedy for good looks and beauty as symbols of status and self-esteem, it is only reasonable to assume there is an equal and opposite aversion to ugliness.  Notice how much of your daily energy goes into your image, and your status.  Whether you call it beauty directly or are more indirect, inferring beauty by wealth, status, power, and success, the driving force is still the compulsive need to avoid ugliness, the unattractive and the dreadful.

In this life where ugliness can come your way in a blink of an eye, and beauty can leave you in a flash, what do you do?  Worry and grasp the beauty wherever it appears in your life?  Or focus on avoiding any semblance of ugliness anywhere?  Either way you go, your unconscious mind is being driven by fear that your self-esteem, dependent on the presence or absence of these two, is wobbling and at risk of tumbling flat on its face.
 

Managing The Dilemma

Once again, a bit of observation reveals that beauty and ugliness are two sides of the same coin.  They are interdependent and because of this relationship, you are once again facing an Unresolvable Dilemma.  This means you cannot keep one side of the coin and get rid of the other side.  Both are needed because they define each other.  (Beauty is defined by the absence of ugliness, and ugliness is defined by the absence of beauty).  Thus, beautiful and ugly go hand in hand.  This is quite a stunning state of affairs!   When this realization meets the recognition of impermanence or change, it becomes quite clear that all efforts to hold onto beauty, in whatever form we perceive it, is futile.  It will ultimately and irrevocably shift into its polar opposite.  What to do with our shivering sense of self caught in this dilemma?

Fortunately, your mystical eyes are designed to see beyond these polar pairs as opposing forces.  The Mystic perceives the harmony hidden inside their relationship.  The Mystic sees the Oneness hiding inside the seeming duality of the two.  This is not just an intellectual assumption or principle.  It can be your actual experience.  Then whether beauty or ugliness is arising, you will perceive the Mystery behind it all.  And this is indeed a beauty that is not the opposite of ugly.  It is beauty beyond words, beyond concept, beyond any idea or understanding.  It is simply the wonder of “what is”, the incredible joy of Being. 

I invite you to explore the relationship between these two polar opposites that are seemingly in opposition and also, are not!. Buy some cut flowers or a flowering house plant and keep it until it is completely dead.  See if you can perceive the beauty in its form at all its different stages.  To perceive non-conceptual Beauty, the Beauty that is behind it all, with your own eyes is to awaken to the wonder of Life and the joy of Existence.  This shifts your way of relating to all polar opposites which is the key to understanding how to be at peace with life in a universe based on polarities. 

May you be happy and find this peace in your daily life.

Ragini

 
To visit this month’s new Reflection highlighting Eckhart Tolle, please click here. 


“On behalf of the Red Lodge Board, thank you so much for all that you shared with us!  The paradox framework is helping us tremendously as we bring in the harvest of our first official year as a non-profit organization and  plant seeds for our growth.   You helped us see more clearly where we are polarizing around  our issues of power, leadership and authority.  We deeply appreciate your deft ability to listen to the many voices in a group, draw out the dominant themes and polarities that are unconsciously running the show, and reflect those back  in ways that jump-start growing more conscious and compassionate.”
                                               Kristina Turner for Red Lodge Woman’s Way Board

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